B Is For Beautiful

I was sitting at the boarding gate last week waiting to get on a flight, returning from my nephews Bar Mitzvah.

When they started calling the boarding groups by letters, the gate agent put a very positive spin on it. Instead of the standard B for Boy and C for Charlie, she called

Group B for Beautiful

C for charming

D for delightful

E for exciting

(I missed Group A, use your own imagination for that one!).

I can’t speak for everyone traveling, but it totally made me smile. It was perfectly planted positivity. I don’t know if it was just a cheerful gate agent an intentional business decision. Either way it was a good one.

Words matter. That much I know and Its not just because of the sound of them. Each letter we utter carries spiritual energy.

If our words are unleashing energy, no doubt we want that to be uplifting, positive energy.

When Maimonides (Rabbi Moshe Ben Maimon, codifier of Jewish law) outlines the detail of what the mitzvah “to love your fellow” includes, he says “we must speak in their praise and not in their denigration.”

I.e. we aren’t just being told, “don’t speak badly of your friends”, but rather we are commanded to intentionally speak good words about them.

Because the spiritual energy of those words draw out, reveal and bring to the surface, the latent goodness of our friend.

Similar to when you have an idea in your mind -when you speak of it, the idea forms crystallizes and takes fuller shape- so too is the power of the verbalized words of praise regarding a friend.

The Rebbe always encouraged us to speak with a positive language, and he led by example. He encouraged the hospital systems in Israel to switch out from “Bet Cholim-Home of the Ill” to “Bet Refuah- Home or Healing”.

Instead of saying the word “bad”, he’d say “not good” or “the opposite of good”.

This is something we see in the text of the Torah as well, and it seems this positive language has caught on in the mainstream too. Research shows that saying and hearing positive words enhance the brain’s cognitive functions, and on the flip side, negative language can inhibit the brain’s natural de-stress mechanism.

An article I read on this topic, gave some great langue-use ideas. I’d suggest starting with those to get yourself into a positive-language habit.

1- why not? - sounds good!

2- can’t complain - things are going good

3- I’m exhausted - I need some rest

4- Don’t throw the ball inside - let’s only use the ball outside.

5- I forgot - I’ll set a reminder

6- no you can’t - I know you like that, but having too much will hurt your belly.

Ok, I think you get my drift.

Let me know how it works for you, and if you thought of a good word for Group A as in…?

Wishing you and your family a Shabbat Shalom.