Forgive But Never Forget
It’s a pretty inexplicable story, and probably the most disgraceful one in our history.
A mere 40 days after G-d reveals himself at Sinai, and the Jewish people had committed themselves to live a life championing His ideals, they turn their back on this new relationship and worship the Golden Calf.
G-d finally forgives them (after Moses pleads and negotiates on their behalf) but He also pledges to never forget this lowest point in their relationship.
On top of that, G-d promises that every single time he makes an accounting of our behaviors, He will include this shameful story for the record.
Imagine the disloyal spouse who makes amends, apologizes profusely and shows commitment to a better future, only to be told, “I may forgive you, but I will never forget this misdeed, AND I will always judge you in this context.”
It’s harsh and it also feels irredeemable, which is quite the opposite of the Jewish approach to repentance and forgiveness. G-d always forgives, and in fact we are assured that Yom Kippur affords us of a perfectly clean slate.
So why is G-d holding onto this and how can we ever prove that we have grown and evolved past that disgraceful moment?!
Chassidism (Rabbi Levi Yitzchok of Berdichev) offers a most beautiful and endearing interpretations of G-d’s pledge.
G-d is not being a vengeful lover. On the contrary, He is keeping this on the record as a reminder to never ever take us for granted.
The Jewish people may be the grandchildren of greats (Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Sara, Rebecca, Rachel Leah, Joseph, Moses, King David…the list goes on and on and on) but don’t take their present choices for granted. Do not simply expect them to always live up to their ancestors’ perfection.
We are also the children of idol worshippers!
True, they had just received the Torah and it therefore seems quite shameful that they went and betrayed G-d, but don’t forget that they had also just emerged from years and years of slave labor and victimhood.
The fact that they were willing to commit to a life of morality and to being a light onto the nations, was a giant sized commitment for a people who had just been released from shackles!
THIS is what G-d promised He’d never forget.
Whose success is more admirable?
The kid who grew up with every privilege and simply had to inherit his dad’s business?
Or, the one who was raised in the projects, without a single dollar or role model, and yet went on to graduate an elite school, with honors?
The Golden Calf story was kept on our record so that every choice we make would be held up against that backdrop. We had a tough upbringing and we still made such great progress!
G-d models to us the way we must acknowledge our own kids.
Don’t keep pointing out the mistakes they make and their less than ideal choices.
Remember their humanness and hold that up as the backdrop…and then every single time they follow the voice of their G-dly core, recognize just how admirable that is.
Humanness (and all of it instincts, impulses and desires) is a very loud and powerful drive.
When your child has the courage to instead follow the voice of his Higher self/ his G-dly soul, let him know how much you admire them for it!
As a matter of fact, the exact same context must be afforded to ourselves too.
Stop berating yourself for your mistakes and misdeeds.
Next time your inner critic speaks up, remind it that your grandparents were idol worshippers — -and that every single one of your good choices must be seen in that context.
Remind it that despite all your hardwired impulses you still made so many admirable choices today.
Because that is exactly how G-d sees it.
Wishing you a Shabbat Shalom.
