My Aunt Batya

Yesterday, my aunt Batya Cohen passed away. She was my mother’s younger sister who grew up together with her in communist Russia.
In a book about their father, there is a remarkable story about Batya and in it a message for all of us.

After much pressure and manipulation, in the form of a threatening visit by the city’s mayor and the school principal, my grandparents began sending their children to school on Shabbat.
At first they avoided participating school at all on Shabbat, but when it became clear that it was a must, they sent one child each Shabbat, yet without their backpack, books or pencils.

On Rosh Hashana, my aunt Batya, then 12 years old, offered to be the one who goes in, so that her brother could pray with the minyan.
Her math teacher intentionally called her up to the board, but she refused to hold the chalk. The vice-principal was called in, and both raised their voice at her. She still refused to budge, explaining that she was an observant Jew and not allowed to write on the holiday. At that point his superior showed up, took the chalk and asked Batya to dictate the answer to him, and he would write for her. When she gave a perfect answer, he told the teacher to allow her to participate by just sitting and listening.

Batya reported that this exact scenario took place in every single one of her classes that day. Each time she stood steadfast, not bending to their pressure, and each time, a superior walked in and told the teacher to back off. Her parents were amazed at Batya’s confidence and strength. Truly, if she had written on Shabbat, under such duress, it would have been permissible, yet she remained determined to observe the Shabbat.

Batya was not raised by being “told” what to do and what to “value”, rather she and her siblings were living by the example set by their parents.

While here in Vancouver, Washington, you and I are raising our children in, thank G-d, a very different world, our kids too are surrounded by pressures that might not always be aligned with our family values.
If we want to watch them stay strong and steadfast in the morals and values that matter, we need to make sure that we aren’t just preaching, but rather are a living role models for them.

Wishing you a Shabbat Shalom.